Please excuse the onslaught of deep posts as of late—let’s just say that God has been slowly “peeling back the blinders” over these past few weeks. Please also be advised that if you just so happen to be 1 of the 2 male Itty Bits readers, you may become mildly uncomfortable with this post because of the amount of “women talk” that is about to go on up in hurr.
Now that I’ve sufficiently scared you, I have a confession to make: I haven’t been treating my body well.
Yes, I eat my fruits and veggies. Sure, I exercise consistently. But there has been one daunting factor that I’ve been avoiding, for fear of not being able to handle it, gaining a few pounds, or worse—losing control of my body. Thankfully because of some amazing women, this problem has been continuously slapping me across the face over these past few months—so often that I had no choice but to finally push my reservations aside and face the predicament head-on.
As of June of 2011, I have been period-less. To be quite honest, I initially thought of this as a blessing in disguise. I mean, who the heck wants to deal with that nonsense once a month? But as time rolled on and I progressively grew more concerned, I began to plug all of the clues together.
After 21 years of living inside of an overweight body, I finally reached my “healthy weight” in January of 2011.
But this wasn’t enough. Rather, I wasn’t enough.
I began to restrict my diet to the point where I was eating 800-1000 calories less than what was recommended for my naturally active lifestyle. Will & I started dating. I felt the pressure of being a “beautiful girlfriend”. I restricted through the months of February to March,
to April,
to May,
all the way to June.
According to society’s standards, yes I may have looked “healthy”, but according to my body, I was NOT. At the time, however, I was SO enthralled by seeing the pounds drop, SO excited about seeing my collar bones more pronounced, that I didn’t even link the losing of my period with the loss of this weight.
And I didn’t stop there–
By the end of the summer (and into the start of Itty Bits) I had lost more weight than my body could handle, ALL of it concentrated within 4-5 months. As I started to study for NASM and face the scientific facts about intake and dietary needs, I managed to coax myself into believing that “I was different” and that “my metabolism was slower and didn’t follow the rules.” Then I read Ashley’s initial post on the issue back in February and started to link the period & weight-loss together, yet still believed the lies that my case was different.
A week later, I was prescribed progesterone to give my period the jump-start it needed. It didn’t work. I went on birth control and got my period ONCE. I went off of it and nada.
In April, Ashley posted again about the condition and put a name to it: Hypothalamic Amenorrhea (HA). It was no surprise that two of the causes are “over-exercising” and “extreme weight-loss”. I started to look more into HA, only to find additional evidence of the fact that I had unknowingly done this to myself, ALL for the sake of falling into society’s image of “perfection”. I wanted to be accepted, I wanted to be desirable, and I was willing to do anything to get there.
As I dove more into my recent pursuit of intuitive eating, I began to notice how often I had actually been ignoring my hunger cues– So much, that it’s been nearly impossible to listen to my body. I had been following so many stringent rules and standards when it came to my diet that my body no longer trusted my judgment, no longer gave me “hungry” and “full” cues, and took away a piece of my womanhood to boot.
However, this past weekend was a major wake-up call for me. I finally opened up to Will about what I had been convicted of and he was so supportive that it brought my emotions to the forefront. All of this time I was putting so much energy into being someone else. I was preaching healthy living and promoting resistance from the “skinny media”, yet drinking all of the poison myself.
And now it’s time to bite the bullet.
I sincerely apologize if some of you feel misled or misguided, but please remember that I am only human and am FAR from perfect. It took me a long time to finally commit to writing this post and opening up about my issue for that exact fear, but in the end I decided that if there is even the slightest possibility of bringing awareness to at least ONE person out there, this will all be more than worth it.
From this point forward I plan on doing something that I should have been doing from the start: Eating real food. The occasional indulgence in-between puny meals wont cut it. I’m committing to nourishing my body, training it to trust me again, and embracing myself for who I am, curves and all.
{ 117 comments… read them below or add one }
Wow, you, Chelsey, and Ashley ALL posted something similar this morning! I think this might be a sign or something.
First of all, thank you for your openness and honesty. Reading all of these posts definitely makes me examine myself. But to be totally honest, I often feel like I really don’t push myself when it comes to working out and I often allow myself more treats than I should. I don’t THINK I have been overexercising or undereating by any means. That being said, I just went off birth control … literally today haha. So I will be quite curious to see what my body does now. I feel as though I’ve been treating it properly, but the real test will be to see if my cycle is normal or not!
Kristen @ notsodomesticated recently posted..Slow-Cooker Black Bean Enchiladas
Thank you for the kind words, Kristen! Honestly I feel like you’ve always been more sensible with your eating (at least from what I see on your blog). Then again, we never truly know what are bodies are up to!
I wish you the best
Brittany recently posted..Curves and All
Thank you so much for addressing this issue. You’d be surprised how many people have had problems with their periods. The thing with HA is that it can be caused by a multitude of things that aren’t always related to food and exercise. For example, just emotional stress could be enough to cause it. One of my friends was telling me how she stops getting it during the school year (especially exam time and midterms) and then it returns back to normal during the summer. This whole amenorrhea thing used to happen to me quite often and I’m always worried about it when I do sports. I really want to train for a half-marathon with a friend so I’m being really conscious about what I eat and making sure I am not undereating. All of the added stress from school doesn’t really help
Best of luck to you in regaining your period and I’d suggest getting a bone density test done just in case. I’d like to also dedicate a song to all the bloggers out there (yes I’m a big sucked for PCD)
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=-PlZ-gWQNeQ
Nadiya @ Milk and Honey recently posted..My New Obsession with… Chia Pudding
Brittany, thanks so much for opening up with this post. It’s really tough to strike that right chord with your body with the healthy living blog community. On one hand, we talk all this talk about being recovered, having the magical secret to staying slim yet not too skinny…but on the other hand, we find ways to restrict to fit into this mold. Worse yet, its tough to talk about because we come from a stance of “yep, got this figured out. I’m past this and here’s how you can be too!” It takes a lot of courage as a HLB to come out with this type of story…but it’s insanely inspiring.
Your honest evaluation can really do nothing but good for you and your mind/body health. Sometimes it takes something a little drastic – like losing the period – to snap back to reality. It stinks that you’re stuck with something so difficult, but it might also be a blessing. I think I also need to re-evaulate some of my own choices, and some of the things I *still* think about my body – i.e. “my belly pooch will go away if I have salad for lunch instead of pasta” – even though they’re under the guise of “salad is better for me so I’ll choose that”. Ya know?
At any rate, that long rambly comment was to say a) thanks for being open about what you’re going through and b) you’re going to get through this and all of your readers are 100% behind ya!
You make so many wise points in this comment! It’s difficult not to fall into restricting in order to fit the “mold” of a HLB– but then again I dont think that ANYBODY ever has EVERYTHING 100% figured out. Thanks for being so supportive, Faith
It really is such an encouragement.
And by the way– those thoughts– they never went anywhere for me either. It’s definitely not as easy as “changing a mindset”.
Brittany recently posted..Curves and All
Girl, you are beautiful and strong and you’re not alone – a lot of “healthy” girls deal with this issue. I did for a few months right before meeting my husband – and although I really liked how I looked physically at that time, I know I need love how I look now – only 10 lbs heavier but much healthier overall!
Claire @ Live and Love to Eat recently posted..Adam’s Attempt at Blogging
Hearing that truly does bring light to all of this. Thank you, Claire!
Brittany recently posted..Curves and All
Wow! This is me exactly! I could have written this comment word-for-word. Exactly what I would’ve said.
Rach recently posted..Summer Recipe Lovin’
What a great post Brittany, love your honesty! Its so easy to get caught up in what a healthy lifestyle should be & lose sight of what’s good for your body, I think many of us have felt this way in some way, shape or form at one point or another. The important thing is to realize it & make a decision to nourish the way your body needs you to. I’m proud of you for writing this & for listening to your body!
Carolina @ Peas in a Blog recently posted..Vegan Coconut Sugar Cookies.
Thank u for this post Brittany! I actually went thru this same thing a couple yrs ago in high school. It was difficult. At first I lost a bunch of weight healthily, then continued (by exercising WAY too much…burning 2000 cals a day and only eating 650-800) crazy. Finally, in the summer of 2010 I realized that people were calling me anorexic (when I wasn’t) and making fun of my skinniess becuz I just couldn’t deal with gaining a little bit of fat & didn’t cue in when my periods never came. I don’t know why society has to pressure girls…make them think that their bf’s or other guys won’t want us if we aren’t super skinny or super fit. Anyways! Good for u for realizing what was happening to ur body. I think ur beautiful!
brit, you brought tears to my eyes!! i’m SO proud of you. i wish i could just give you a huge hug right now and go eat a bunch of fro yo with you.
oh, and did you notice that you, chels, and me all wrote about this topic today? haha. you know i’m always here for you!! love you to pieces!
Ashley @ My Food ‘N’ Fitness Diaries recently posted..Listening To My Body
I LOVE that you all wrote about this today!! I think it’s quite special
And you all are AMAZING! ANd so honest. I love that. It would’ve been really hard for me if I had gone through all that WITH a blog. Now I can be done with it…but you guys, I applaud you! Let me know if you have any questions–I am happy to help!
Life is SO much sweeter when we listen up, feed it right, embrace our curves, and forget about what society says is ‘best’. SO glad I got my period back after years of deprivation (over 6 yrs. without that bad boy!)!!
Annette@FitnessPerks recently posted..Whole Wheat Alfredo Shells With Broccoli
Thank you, Annette! You are so so sweet and encouraging
Brittany recently posted..Curves and All
Brittany- I honor your strength and courage to post this. And to have finally opened up to your boyfriend, I know what a struggle that is to show that side of you. I went through almost the exact same thing & am coming up on almost two years now without a period. From what started off from rapid weight loss, stress, going off birth control, limited calories for too much exercise – my body went into shock! At the same time of all this two summers ago, I had shifted from a vegan to raw vegan. I felt great but clearly had disrupted my body’s natural rhythm. This past year I started to eat foods again I wasn’t used to, exercised less, gained weight back (nervously!!!) but still nada. However, the hardest part has been getting over that mental block that some WEIGHT isn’t BAD! I still have days and moments when I really, really struggle. While it is certainly frustrating not fitting into clothes I once did – I have to remember it’s for a healthier ME. Eating and getting my cycle back is wayyy more important than being a size zero!
Remember you’ll always be beautiful no matter what weight you are, Brittany! I appreciate your sharing this post…. It means a lot! and I truly believe this is the honesty the blog world needs to hear!! Guarantee this is the strength so many others need to hear too – I look forward to hear more!
I’m so proud of you for opening up about this! Sometimes I feel self-consicous on my blog because I write about eating chocolate, and ice cream and Mexican food. I shouldn’t! I am at a healthy weight, and it’s okay that I eat carbs and fats — and I want to be honest about that. Just because we’re bloggers does not mean that we all have to be size 2s. We need to eat real food…we need to listen to our bodies and enjoy this time in our life!
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self-conscious*
Emily @ Perfection Isn’t Happy recently posted..The Name Change Debate
I can’t imagine the courage it took to hit publish. This is such a great post and I know it will hit close to home for a lot of people and inspire them to change their habits. I really think that eating real food and exercise is the key for everyone – it took me a while to get there myself and I’m still working at it!
Caroline @ After Dinner Dance recently posted..Sweet Potato Burritos with Mexican Brown Rice
Good for you for opening up on this. It must have taken so much courage to recognize this and begin to make the changes that your body needs. I look forward to reading more about your journey.
Lauren @ Chocolate, Cheese and Wine recently posted..Restaurant Review – Sawasdee Thai – Raleigh, NC
this post is seriously amazing.I admire you so much for writing this and opening up. it is really hard not to get rapped up in the media and comparisons and feeling the need to restrict but I am trying really hard to focus on healthy living rather than wanting to be “perfect”. thank you so much for writing this it really helps put everything in perspective!
chelcie @ chelcie’s food files recently posted..Grilled Pineapple Guacamole
I know it took a lot of courage to write this, and I’m so proud of you for embracing what is truly healthly. You’ve always looked beautiful and healthy so don’t be afraid to look like a real person with real curves! Good luck on this journey. We’re here for you!
Jessica @ Sushi and Sit-Ups recently posted..Windy city recap: the food
<333 it must have taken so much courage for you to write this. I applaud you. It's so hard for me to be open on my blog about the struggles I've had in the past and the ones I have sometimes now as well. From the damage I did a couple of years ago, and still continued to do on a smaller scale, my period had stopped and since then has not been able to get back to normal either. I've done the whole progesterone thing and am on the pill now, but it's still not the way it was. And it's pretty messed up how much all the overexercising and under-eating can completely screw with your hunger cues. Mine still confuse me at times. I'm here for you every step on the way in your journey to be free of restriction, just like all the people in my life and in the blog world who have been there for me.
Caitlin recently posted..Fortuitous Feasting at Firebox
Thank you, Caitlin! From what I’ve gathered– A period on the pill isn’t necessarily the same as a period off of the pill. A lot of girls go on it, and don’t even know that they have an issue with HA. Then again, I am definitely not a doctor, but Ashley spoke a little bit more about coming off of the pill and dealing with it.
Thank you for your support and encouragement
Brittany recently posted..Curves and All
Never ever ever give up, assume your alone in this, or feel like you are letting people down. Especially those of us that read your blog, we are here because we love food and support moving on to a healthy life, and embracing the bumps along the way. You will always be supported. Keep being honest and open, that is why I love your blog so much.
You. Are. AMAZING.
Thank you for your kind words, Kasey!
Brittany recently posted..Curves and All
I just wanted to share with you that I went through the same exact thing when I lost my weight…I was in a cycle of really undereating and overexercising and I didnt get my period for a long time…it wasnt until I starting running and fueling myself properly (in the process, i put on a little under 10 pounds) that I started getting my period again. My body needed the extra cushioning I guess..lol, but it was apparent to me that this is my HEALTHY weight. I havent had issues with my period ever since..now it comes every month, no issues. Its a really tough road, but you will be a lot happier once your body gets to its happy place
Theresa recently posted..Pumped up kicks and Dreary mondays
Great post
I admire your strength for being able to write this post and open your heart to us. It’s so hard always trying to strive towards being perfect, or what we think perfect is.. I’m so glad that you and a couple of other amazing bloggers have bought light to this issue.
You are beautiful and never forget that!
Thank you so much for sharing your story Brittany! I know it must have been very difficult to realize that you weren’t treating your body properly. But you know what? Everyone makes mistakes for the purpose of LEARNING. There is absolutely no need to apologize, you did not mislead or misguide anyone! All that matters now is truly learning to listen to your body and getting to a healthy point in your life. You know all of us are behind you and will support you every step of the way! Just remember, you are beautiful no matter what, and there is NO such thing as perfect. You got this girl, love ya! <3
Brittany @ GOtheXtraMile recently posted..Scattered Sunday
I love you I love you I love!!! Thank you so much for addressing this Brittany! I’ve been reading all about Ashley and Chelsey’s problems as well and it really scares me. It also scares me to hear that you got a period on while on the pill. I’ve been on the pill since I was 18 (so like 5 years). I always get my period but these past few months it’s been insanely light on the pill. It was light before – like it lasted 3 days…but now it’s barely lasting 2 and everything is so light that I sometimes wonder if it’s an actual period. I think I need to see my doctor to see if this is normal on the pill…but I’m just worried that maybe I’ve been exercising too intensely and not treating my body well enough! Bahhh…btw, have you figured out what you’re doing after school?? I’ll be in Florida in June to see Chris!
Lindsay @ In Sweetness and In Health recently posted..Random Monday Musings
Thank you, girlie
And about your situation– you’re definitely doing a great thing by cutting down on the exercise. If you do get off of the pill and find that you have an issue with it returning, at least you have some other blog stories to refer to!
haha
YEYY!!!! I will be in Florida in June
How long will you be down?
Brittany recently posted..Curves and All
That is true!! Thank you
. I’ll be down from June 17-23!
Lindsay @ In Sweetness and In Health recently posted..Exercise Comparisons
You are absolutely beautiful inside and out!! Wonderful post – my favorite line was your last: “I’m committing to nourishing my body, training it to trust me again, and embracing myself for who I am, curves and all.” I look forward to seeing God continue to work this out in your life, one day at a time!
Kelly @ No Sugar Sweet Life recently posted..Chobani Greek Yogurt Giveaway!
I think its so so great that you TRUELY want to do good to your body. You are such an inspiration! <3
Healthiful Balance recently posted..Anorexic to Fit Series {Part 3}
Thank you for sharing this information. You really did your friends a service by being open and honest. Let me just say that I believe you are beautiful. I too lost a good deal of weight and I know how easy it is to develop a mindset that has you convinced that you will gain it ALL back if you eat that dessert, or carb filled dinner. I had myself convinced that I only needed to eat 1,000 calories a day, while working out for 3+ hours including running, spinning, and weight lifting. I haven’t had my period in a long time. And as a nurse, I know that getting your period is the ultimate sign of health. Slowly over the last few months that I have been addressing these problems, I started to eat more and I gained probably 6-7 pounds. But I feel great, and do not look much different than I did at my “ultimate goal weight.”
It’s funny because I took a lot of nutrition classes in college and when my counselor asks me what diet a person should eat based off of weight, height, goals, and activity level I can rattle off all the scientific numbers. But the second she says, what do you NEED to eat, I’m like no I’m different. I don’t count.
Regardless this is so important for your over all health. By us not getting our periods we are at risk for things like osteoporosis. And I thought it wouldn’t happen to me. But as I sit here and type this I’m nursing a broken foot. Hows that for a dose of reality? Good luck on getting better, curves and all, you will be beautiful regardless!
You said it perfectly! Why is it that we can convince ourselves that we dont mesh with the rest of the population’s dietary needs? That’s straight up brainwashing right there. Thank you for your honesty, Nicole
Brittany recently posted..Curves and All
Brittany, thank you so much for opening up and sharing your heart with the world. I have been reading your blog for a few months now and I don’t feel misled – you continue to be open and honest about what you are going through. This is all part of the journey! I’ll be praying for God to encourage you through this period (no pun intended haha). Looking forward to seeing your progress!!
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Aw Brittany!
Just for the record, I never saw you as something you werent. I think we are all kind of figuring out the “healthy thing” and will continue to add to our knowledge and want to change things. My eating and habits have changed immensly in the last year! and will continue to until I figure out what works well with me and my body.
I think it is VERY normal for people going through weighloss especially to want be guilty of doing even the smallest unhealthy things (I’m definitely guilty at some point of not enough calories, restrictions, etc) its part of the learning curve I suppose!!
You’re awesome and I’m so glad you are figuring out your body and being true to yourself, though I never really was unaware that you werent, you always seem genuine to me!
Andrea @ Andrea Out Loud! recently posted..Peanut Butter Banana Muffins
Brittany. What a brave and inspiring post. As I keep telling you – you have been completely inspiring me lately with your intuitive eating and overal thinking about my relationship with food and exercise. I am learning myself, but I will say that your words and your openness is a large part of my realization that something for me needs to change as well. (I struggle with OCD related issues surrounding a multitude of issues). I am SUPER excited about your journey and hope that I can learn from you as I have already began to…
Sara @my less serious life recently posted..the eating slowly experiment: pause and calm method (results)
Brittany, this is why you are my favorite blogger! I love your honesty. In fact, I don’t think that anyone should feel misled… the truth is, there are many, many girls out there going through this exact thing and you’re probably what they needed to open up their eyes that they aren’t healthy.
I think for a while, I have idolized you. Meaning that here’s this girl who got off her weight, who is committed to eating healthy, exercising, and loving her body… everything I wish I wasn’t struggling with trying to do myself. This post just goes to show you’re a normal girl like all of us and I think this makes me respect you even more.
I’m so glad you’re starting to listen to your body more. This is something I am trying to do as well. Also, I would like to add that that time of the month is wonderful at letting you know how healthy you are… if you’re too heavy, you can also lose it as well.
Thank you, Brittney! You are so so sweet
I think in a way it took this realization for me to even know that I wasn’t embracing my body as much as I thought I was. It’s all SUCH a tricky mind game, but I am absolutely nothing more than a normal girl!
By the way, I loved the puppy pictures you emailed me
Too cute!
Brittany recently posted..Curves and All
Thanks!
Would you believe it if I told you that last Wednesday, my mom was outside feeding the chickens in the pouring rain and a dachshund randomly showed up in our yard? We’ve put up signs to find the owner but it’s been a week now and no one has called. I don’t know if our house can handle 3 hard headed doxies!!! lol
Rock on, girl.
I have six sisters and a mother that struggled with anorexia as a teen. Needless to say, eating was a weird thing in our home. Thankfully, most of us have had a more healthy relationship with it…but that’s been a fight. I had God get serious with me too, and I finally had to stop deciding what I thought was best for my body and let God decide what was best. I’m “curvier” than most of my sisters (yet I’m a runner) and am the one that actually eats regularly w/out counting numbers or saying “I’ve been bad”. All of my sisters tell me they wish they looked more like me! Crazy, b/c they are allllll thinner! But I get to eat and still enjoy my body, and THAT is what I think they want. Its frustrating to be in this society as a female especially when clothes are hard to fit at times. But God is the ultimate healer and creater of you and the way HE wanted your body to be. Love your blog.
There’s really no need to apologize for deep posts. I actually prefer your posts where you speak about your thoughts and emotions versus the food ones. Not that those aren’t good too, but really letting us into your heart is more interesting IMO. I thought the post you wrote about forbidden foods was your best one, right up there with this one. And I have to be completely honest with you–I had the feeling that what you mentioned in this post was going on behind the scenes. I know everyone is different, and I don’t know you so I gave you the benefit of the doubt, but I couldn’t help but feel that you were restricting yourself. I will admit that I was envious of how strictly you adhered to such a tight diet. One particular example was when you turned down fried ice cream at a sushi restaurant. I wished that I had that kind of discipline. But hearing about your struggles reminds me that many of us are on the same boat with learning to be okay with eating.
Anyway, I hope this doesn’t make you feel bad or anything. These have just been my observations. I’m glad you’ve opened up to us and are on the path to finding your true balance <3
Allie Q recently posted..Fitness & Friends
If anything, this comment makes me feel GOOD! Seriously, I was so brainwashed that I didn’t even realize how strict I was being on myself. I would zone in so much on the mishaps that I didn’t even see that during the other 99% of the time I was eating straight veggies all the livelong day. The fact that you thought those things about me before I even came to face them myself, makes my problem even larger in my eyes– which is exactly what I need.
Thank YOU for your honesty, Allie. I always love your comments <3
Brittany recently posted..Curves and All
I think you’re brave to be so open and honest about your struggles. I have struggled with my weight for a really long time, so I can relate to wanting to “mold” to the perfect body of today’s society. It is so easy to get caught up into the standards of what others see as beautiful, and I know I hold myself to that, even though I know I shouldn’t.
Lori Lynn recently posted..Tuesday Muesings
Your honesty is really wonderful and touching, Brittany. I commend you, so much, for acknowledging where health has been present–and not so present–not only in your body but in your mind and spirit. And I commend you for reaching out to your support network (starting with your partner) and then reaching out to your online community here. It’s a really huge, crazy, and difficult thing to ask these huge questions of yourself over body image and wellbeing and mindset and to closely investigate why certain things are and aren’t happening–and what it means to really *love* yourself and to *accept* yourself.
Also, I think it’s THIS sort of thinking, more than passing something like the NASM exam, that really conveys the readiness you have for the future you’re choosing for yourself. As much as being a personal trainer and working in the fitness industry is about understanding correct form and technique, it really is, on a much deeper level, about being an advocate for the wellbeing of your clients and students. This means being able to accept and love them as they are (which starts from a place inside yourself), and it means being able to listen without judgement–but a desire to be there and take a stand for their goals–as they tell you their histories, roadblocks, and interests (which you can do and relate to your own experiences)–and it means encouraging and challenging THEM to investigate the beginnings and ends of their own ideas of health, wellbeing, peace, and self-love. Which you know how to do from the stand you are taking for yourself.
Stephanie recently posted..Oh hot damn…
What a beautiful comment, Stephanie! And I couldn’t agree more about the health/fitness industry. It is sadly becoming SO over-obsessive about image before anything else, and that is exactly the trap I fell deeeep into.
My plans post-graduation have been decided, but not yet announced on the bloggie (Coming soon! haha) and let’s just say that they fit in PERFECTLY with this target area
Thank you again for your kind words <3
Brittany recently posted..Curves and All
I just read Ashley’s post, so I did a bit of a double-take reading yours! THANK YOU for this post. I myself can relate, having lost my period for years after an eating disorder and over-exercising. Like you, people always thought I looked healthy, although my body was telling me it wasn’t.
Today I’m married and focused on having a truly healthy body, because my husband and I want to have children together. I still love working out and creating healthy recipes, but now it’s all about loving and working WITH my body, instead of against it. After reading these beautiful posts, I’m inspired to share something myself soon!
Justine @ Life With Cheeseburgers recently posted..Chocolate Protein Pudding Snack/Dessert
As I was reading this, I was going to suggest that it could’ve been exercise, because I know a few people who’ve had that issue. When I read the actual cause, it came as a surprise. But I’m glad you’re getting through it!! And I’m glad you’ve opened up about it, because that can help. Good for you for working through it and being honest!! And yay Will for being supportive.
This actually came at a pretty good time for me, so that’s cool. My eating habits lately probably haven’t been the greatest, and neither has my self-image. Something I’m constantly working on, I guess.
Rebecca recently posted..Flawless Friday: On Feeling Stupid
It’s a constant battle! Just know that you are definitely not alone!
Brittany recently posted..Curves and All
I had a lot of the same thoughts about your diet that Allie mentioned above and when you used to post all of your meals I wondered if/when you let yourself indulge. I too was impressed with your discipline when it came to your food choices because even though I’ve made great strides to make better choices, i still can’t see myself turning down fried ice cream (at least a bite or two!).
It was very brave of you to open up like this and I for one don’t think any differently about you or think that you owe anyone an apology. It’s all about listening to your body and doing what works for you. It’s a journey to get there and we all have our struggles and victories along the way!
Thank you for your honesty as well, Meredith! Isn’t it strange that sometimes we are the LAST to realize something about ourselves? haha
Brittany recently posted..Curves and All
LOVE this post, B!
Like you, I’ve been trying to mindfully eat as of lately. Isn’t is amazing the realizations we have once we literally start listening to our bodies?
Thank you so much for sharing this with us, and I wish you the best of luck getting your monthly visitor back!
Liz @ Southern Charm recently posted..So Hard
What a brave and inspiring post, Brittany. I absolutely admire your courage to open up about this, and I know that it is a strong first step to making the right changes. As a new blogger, I find that sometimes it can be easy to have blogger envy about how much people exercise or what they are eating, but this post helped remind me that bloggers are real people who may have other things going on behind the webpage. You are truly inspiring.
Stephanie @My Freckled Life recently posted..It’s just one run
Thank you, Stephanie! And trust me- I have been no stranger to that “blogger envy” as well. Although yes, motivation and encouragement to be healthy can be a fantastic blogging tool, it should never be abused!
Brittany recently posted..Curves and All
It must have been really hard to open up and write this post (and then post it!) but I’m really proud of you for doing it. I’m so glad that you were able to open up to Will and that you have a great support for this journey. I think restricting after weight loss is so common and I think it’s wonderful you are drawing awareness to it. You are so right that your body hasn’t been healthy and getting back to that is so important. Each of our bodies is different and beautiful in it’s own way. Know that I’m always there to support you on this journey! xoxo
Emily @ Glitz Glam Granola recently posted..GGG Restaurant Review: Serendipty 3
Thank you for posting about this! I know it must have been hard to write this, but know that you’re not alone
I’m sure so many people can relate – I know I can! Our bodies are pretty smart 
Thank you for sharing this. The body can get so out of wack and it is great that you are trying to work things out.
You’ve come to a great state of self-awareness and SO many of us go through this journey at one point or another. It’s so funny, I get bad cramps sometimes and I just curse having my period, I just want it gone! and then I read these posts from people who are so desperately trying to have theirs back and it makes me remember to be grateful that my body is at least performing normally. But everyone is different, and that is so crucial to remember. What is a healthy weight on someone else isn’t on another. I have an extremely slow metabolism – didn’t used to be this way, but I took antidepressants for about 3 years during college and ever since I came off of them about 4 years ago I have really struggled with gaining weight easily. Eventually I came to realize that for me to maintain a healthy weight, I have to eat a lot less than other people with my age and activity level. You can’t compare, everyone is just different! I’m glad you’re coming to the point where you’re so self aware and have a supportive network with your boyfriend too. You have such maturity and clarity of vision – I know you’ll be okay
. 
Anna @ The Guiltless Life recently posted..Recommended Read: Lauren Oliver’s “Before I Fall”
Good for you! I am just starting the same process after reading many of the same blogs
I know its hard now but in the end it will be totally worth it 
I’m loving that you and Ashley both posted about this today! Thank you for being so open and honest with your blog it takes a ton of courage to do that! I can definitely relate to the restricting and extra exercising and amenorrhea oh goodness.. Your a strong lady for posting about all of this and I can’t wait to keep reading and see where it all takes you!
Sarah recently posted..Thankful Things Monday?
I love that you are such a real and godly lady! I struggle with this as well except in the opposite direction, I restrict food so much that I get SO hungry that I bing and gain weight and get depressed. I am so glad that you opened up and I am very glad that Will is so helpful.
I look forward to reading more!
Wow, you can really tell in those pictures you kept losing after you hit your healthy weight, where by the way, you look beautiful. I think this issue affects a lot more women than one might think, and I mean women who don’t identify with having an ED. Society places pressure on all women to be thin and perfect and frankly, a ton of people are underweight thinking that really is healthy. I’m so glad you wrote about this, both for YOU and for other women who I know can relate in some way.
StoriesAndSweetPotatoes recently posted..Six Degrees Of Hippie Bullshit
Thank you, Sara! Seriously, I would have never identified (and am not even sure if I would currently identify) with having an ED. I’ve always imagined that you need to be a small emaciated person to be struggling, but I don’t see how my restriction has been ANY different.
Thank you for the support <3
Brittany recently posted..Curves and All
wow it is amazing to me how many women/bloggers have this problem. I think it goes to show that more of a healthy thing (exercise and puny salads) is not healthy. Balance is healthy. Hope you can figure things out and allow your body to heal!
Lindsay @ Fuel My Family recently posted..Loaded Baked Potato Vegetable Soup
Brittany! I’m reading this, and I went through the same thing!! When I had started birth control in 2010, I ended up gaining 25 pounds and I had been SO used to be retardedly skinny despite how much I ate, but once I started birth control, my metabolism just couldn’t keep up. I stayed on it for a year, an by December of 2011 I threw it out because it was driving me crazy…I gained more and more weight, I was super cranky & I just couldn’t take it anymore. When I stopped using the BC, I wanted to lose weight before flying to Miami for summer. So I started counting my calories religiously! Only eating anywhere from 1000-1200 calories a day, and eventually it became normal and I hit up the gym everyday for maybe 2-3 hours each session. Needlesstosay I lost the weight but quickly. Like 3 pounds every week, but I finally felt comfortable in my bathing suit come time for summer. Period-wise, everything was fine. It was when I flew back to LA that things started getting weird. I continued counting calories but I wasn’t losing anymore weight, I was just at the same weight for a while so I cut my calories back to 800-1000 calories a day and took a dance class I addition to working out and I started losing weight but my period just disappeared. I went from about July to December but I didn’t think it was from diet and exercise at the time, when I flew back to Miami this past December I was home for 3 weeks, and I didn’t exercise nearly as much as I did in LA but I did a little, and I still counted my calories but being surrounded by Cuban food that I missed wasn’t easy so I started to grub and by the time I had flown back to LA I gained about 5 pounds and I got my period!! So I realize that must’ve been it, too much excersize and not enough calorie intake was messing up my monthly flow. So I’ve stopped over obsessing. I actually don’t count my calories anymore, but I know not to go crazy with food (sometimes
and working out a little on hikes and stuff. I’m def not skronny anymore but I’m soooo okay with it!! Garrett still loves me at the end of the day, and you know Will, will too. Just realized how long this was lol, but just showing you’re not alone and be healthy without obsessing!
Ps- Garrett and I miss you like crazy <3 going through road trip pictures the other day and we want another one!!
Brittany, this is an amazing post. You are inspiring, and I give you so much credit for letting us all into your life like you have, considering so many women have been there, done that. There was a time that I lost weight (before subsequently gaining it all back) in which I lost my period as well. I am so glad to see other relatable people!
Nikki recently posted..All Good Things Must Come to An End
I’m super proud of you for talking about this. It’s a big issue that lots of women go through and it’s great to see people talking about it. There is so much pressure on women to skinny, but unfortunately, that isn’t always the healthiest thing.
The art of a healthy lifestyle in something that is very hard to perfect. We are all different and our body’s needs change during our life. We have to find the balance between living a healthy life and making sure it’s the best thing for our body.
The fact that you have recognized this and actually came to terms with it is a great start! You’re an amazing person. Don’t apologize for anything. You are taking care of yourself and you are learning about your body’s needs and that will take some time.
Christina recently posted..Finals blues
Thank you so much, Christina. You’re totally right– I’m starting to learn that “balance” is a constant work-in-progress!
Brittany recently posted..Curves and All
Seriously, was this period day or what?
I think it’s absolutely hilarious that we all posted something fairly similar to this. I swear you will start to see results if you treat your body well. For me, it wasn’t about not eating enough, it was about my body wanting to be at a certain BMI before i ovulated. And for me, that BMI is about 23.5 – well over what society deems to be “normal”. HA is a silly little thing – it is so individualized! All the best to you my dear – please let me know if you need anything!!!
chelsey @ clean eating chelsey recently posted..acupuncture update and ova ova giveaway
That’s so interesting about your BMI. But you know what– who cares what society says! Overcoming that pressure is such a tough and emotional thing, but SO totally necessary for any sort of progress. Thank you for your openness <3
Brittany recently posted..Curves and All
On posts like this- I have no words. So true! You are so brave and I’m glad that you are opening up about this and how it falls into society’s ideas of how we should be….. I have been there and you have read of my struggles as far as my period going missing. It made it kind of hard to start a family! They body tries to tell you things and sometimes we get so hard on ourselves that we can’t hear it screaming at us, I’m saying this as application to my life. Do what feels right for you and keep relying on THE One that matters most! <3 You go girl!
Julie H. of Spinach and Sprinkles recently posted..Baby Bump to Baby Lump. Week 19
I don’t think you’ve misled anyone! Sometimes it takes time to sort through what you should reveal about yourself and what you shouldn’t. A blog is a public space but it doesn’t mean your life has to be an open book 100% of the time. This was a touching post and I wish you the best of luck as you continue to work on your relationship with food. Lord knows we all need a bit of help with that!
<3
Emily recently posted..Brain Food
Thank you for sharing:) I have a question regarding your allergy to wheat. I read somewhere that it’s common for ppl with disordered eating to cover up teir food phobias with having an intolerance bc it helps them control their food as well as the the judgements from ppl. Does this ring true for you? I’m not trying to be rude and I hope you don’t take it that way.. I’m just curious:)
Hey Danielle, and no worries– I understand why you would be curious. I am, in fact, legitimately intolerant to wheat & egg whites. According to both my doctor and my digestion lol
Brittany recently posted..Curves and All
Thank you for sharing this, Brittany! I love your blog more every day- so glad I started reading
I think this message is so important for women to hear..not only is being stick thin not necessary, it actually harms our body. Women’s bodies are MEANT to have curves, and that is something I’m working on embracing right now as well. Great post 
Maggie @ Running on Fro-Yo recently posted..Fitness Friday!
Thank you, Maggie! That’s all very sweet of you to say. Trust me– it’s SO much easier said than done. To think that ALL of this time I thought that I was “loving myself”, when in reality I couldn’t have been farther from the truth!
Brittany recently posted..Curves and All
Thank you so much for sharing!! Because of you, I’m sure many girls will learn to pick up on the signs and listen more carefully to their bodies. I appreciate the bravery, girl
you’re incredibly lucky to have a supporter like Will alongside you!
I nearly cried when I read this. This is me!! I screamed it inside my head. Im working towards the same goal as you. Its soooo hard. So so hard. Everytime i tell myself im going to eat better, ill do it for a day or two and then will feel guilty and restrict for a day or two. Ive come a long way from where i was a few months ago, but I still have a long way to go. I would love to stay in touch with you. Maybe we can help each other. You are the first person that Ive come across with the exact issue as my own. I wrote something a bit similar to this on my own blog. It was hard for ne to write it as well.
I would love to have an accountability partner, Krystal! Feel free to email me any time you’d like– I’m sure we’d have lots to share with each other.
Brittany recently posted..Curves and All
AHhh I am so so glad you posted about this Brittany! I appreciate your honesty so very much and especially now that I am going through the same situation. This was so well written too girl
Keep us updated please!
Tessa @ Amazing Asset recently posted..The Food Rules We Live By
I recently came across your blog a few weeks ago and have to say you are the reason I finally committed to making my own personal blog live. I wrote about who I was and my struggle with stress eating. I was worried what my peers may think of me and if they would judge me, yet you proved to me that didn’t matter. Here you openly talk about your struggles with weight issues showing they should no longer be left in the dark. You inspire us to love ourselves through the good and the bad times. I feel it’s so important to have support systems in all walks of life and you have created an excellent community of that! THANK YOU! You’re an amazing person Brittany!!
That means so much to me, Brittany (#2
) Seriously, I was always under the impression that this kind of stuff was not intended for the public arena, but PSH why the heck not!! If we’re all struggling with it, we might as well ALL be talking about it and helping each other!!
Brittany recently posted..Curves and All
Thank you for being honest. This is what makes me come back to blogs like yours.
I am going through something similar to what you experienced last year. I too feel that It’s hard to trust my body at times. My stress is somewhat exacerbated due to the fact that I am getting married this June. I think to myself if I trust my body & I gain a few pounds will I still fit into my dress/look good? I am kinda relieved that this “pressure” will be over in less than 2 months….and that I will finally relax & trust my body. I’m learning to let go in some ways and this post & your blog helps alot, so thank you! 
Oh yes I wanted to mention, I find it ironic sometimes that women want to be thin for other women while guys I’ve noticed love curves and not some stick thin twig. Guys like a lil something, something to grab/hold on to ya know
.
I’ve never been married, but have heard a LOT about the pressures placed on brides as they plan for the big day. Just remember to keep in mind that your man loves you already– not for what you could potentially change to become a “more perfect” (whatever that means!) bride! Thank you for your kind words and honesty, Beth <3
And also-- you are SOO right! Guys love a little junk in the trunk!
Brittany recently posted..Curves and All
I love your honesty, Brittany. A couple of years ago, I dropped about 20 pounds and I felt amazing and was loving how I looked…to only discover that every single person I knew thought that I was unhealthy, had an eating disorder, or was sick. Never once did I think I was too skinny and, as I saw the pounds drop, just wanted to keep dropping more. Now, I have put about 10 of those pounds back on and, while I am happy with the way I look, I can’t help but think about when the scale number was 10 pounds lower. I wish it was easier to love our curves and not get so stuck on a number or what ‘society’ expects us to look like.
You are such an inspiration!
Kelly @ Laughter, Strength, and Food recently posted..Shrimp and Portobello Couscous
As I’m reading these comments, I’m starting to realize that there are SO many others who have fallen prey to this mindset! Thank you for your kind words, and for being so open with your own experience
Brittany recently posted..Curves and All
Thank you so much for opening up…I’ve been guilty of falling in that trap too…I think it’s something all us girls struggle with…but at different levels.
Being open is the first step! You are so beautiful and inspiring!
Charissa recently posted..Exotic Fruit Salad
Great post! Glad that you’ve decided to get real and take care more of your body than your image. You’re so beautiful and you don’t have to prove anything on the society. great job
Girl, stop worrying about who you’re misleading here…the most important part of this post is that you’ve come face-to-face with a problem you’ve been facing for so long. This blog is about YOU…and people read to connect with you. If they can’t connect with you on all levels – whether you’re issue-less or not – then tough for them, right?! Blogging is an outlet…it’s a venue for all of us to relate to each other. Even those of us who haven’t experienced what you’re going through right now can relate in some way…to facing fears, to facing lifestyle changes. I bet if I read back through all your comments, I’d find that you’d hear a lot of “I do, too”s. Opening up like this opens up opportunities for friendship. Your honesty is admirable. I’m wishing you luck on getting back to where you want to be in your health. We’re all here to support you!
Melissa @ Live, Love, & Run recently posted..Back to Basics
Wow. So proud of you. Keep it up. You got a pretty good body. A healthy one indeed. By the way, you look like one of the contestant of America’s Next Top Model. I can’t recall what season and her name. Your smiles are just the same. O h, I remember now. Her name is Kayla.
Born27 recently posted..Conference Call Phones
I ran across your blog today through FitFluential Food on FB, and I have to tell you, your post is the first one I have actually stopped to read all the way through. It takes a lot for a person to open up like you have today, and as a blogger, I feel that it is absolutely necessary for us to do it every once in a while. Your readers need to hear messages like this in order to stop themselves from making the same mistakes as you. A few years ago I fell into the same patterns that you did. I never stopped having my period; however, I did lose so much weight so fast that it completely doomed my gallbladder and I had to have it removed. Since then, I have gained back a good bit of the weight I lost b/c I hurt my back really badly, but I am now on a lifetime journey to be healthy and happy the right way! My husband and I (named Will too
) have started working out & counting calories with MFP and love it! Anyway, sorry this post is so long, but just know that I think you did the right thing by telling people your story AND you have gained a new follower b/c of it! Good luck!
Brittany! Girl you are such a wonderful role model! I too am going through a similar issue and it is incredible how so many of us in the blogging world are dealing with this. The crazy thing is that most of us truly believe we are treating are bodies kindly and are the healthy ones, but the truth is that our underlying idea of what healthy is does not mesh with our bodies. I love you girl and am here for you! I need to email you so we can talk and support each other through this!
Jana @ Newly Wife Healthy Life recently posted..WIAW – Squash Times Two
Thank you so much for being open and honest about such a tough subject to address. You continue to be an inspiration! I will definitely be praying for you. Much love!
natalie @ southern fit foodie recently posted..Lower-Sugar Homemade Strawberry Jam
Hi there
I just started reading your blog for a workout routine (did the 45 min thigh circuit
) but after I was done, came across this post. I normally don’t post on people’s blogs but I had to because I am dealing with the EXACT same thing
I started exercising and losing weight to about 9% body fat and restricted my food intake to just healthy foods…my friends called me the healthy chef because I had a way of taking alleged fatty foods and doing my own spin on it. I was slightly overweight and teased growing up so I was so proud of my body and the attention I was getting.
However, my period stopped and I was eating less than 1000 calories. My parents were concerned and my boyfriend (we just started dating around 8 months ago) thought something was wrong. I stopped getting my period.
I was in denial and scared to admit that I could have an issue. I’m now working for the past 2 months to gain weight. It is dofficult as I still exercise every day. I have upped my caloric intake but my bmi is still around 18. Healthy looking I suppose but my body fat is still incredibly low. I am asking god into the picture to help guide me but I had to respond because I related so much and I thought it was interesting how I jus happened on this.
Best wishes to you and it’s difficult as I am still struggling. But I know I am (just as you are) beautiful in Gods eyes and he never wanted this for us.
I’m 24 by the way and live in the Bay Area.
brittany, i understand how it feels to be period-less!! i took contraceptive pills in the past (for my acne) and once I stopped it, my period hadn’t come for almost a year. Then, in February, it miraculously came and…literally brought tears to my eyes! I was SO happy to feel like a “woman” again! and the crazy me celebrated for a few days haha.
once i told my girlfriends, a couple of them shared similar experiences–some stopped their periods because of stress, some because of dieting. so u’re definitely not alone!!
n i love how u say u wana be the “perfect, beautiful girlfriend”! i guess most of us fall subconsciously into this trap without even noticing… but my boyfriend actually likes the chubbier me lol. wondering if Will prefers a slightly “chubbier” Brittany? (not that you are anywhere near chubby. u’r so slim!)
i love your blog–the food, the fitness, the emotional issues. Thanks to your inspiration, I’m now on Week 4 Day 2 of the 30Days Bodyrock challenge
D You mentioned a few times how the program “transformed” you, can you share more about it?
Thank you for sharing your story, Pheobe! And about Bodyrock– It was a great tool to change up my usual routine of constant cardio and running, but the challenge actually was too much for me to handle haha. Remember that EVERYONE is different, but it just burnt me out too quickly. You can read more about my quitting of the challenge here: http://ittybitsofbalance.com/2012/01/14/bodyrock-challenge-no-more/
Brittany recently posted..Curves and All
I’ve only just found your blog, but I adore it. You’re so candid and honest, and I love that you don’t mind sharing your personal issues – some of which I share. I’ve yo-yo’d in weight my entire life since having horribly disordered eating. I’m getting married, and I find myself craving weightlessness though I know it’s not good for me. I find it incredibly stressful, but it’s good to know I’m not alone.
xo
Brittany this post is beautiful. I know the guts and strength it took to hit publish. I also know the underlying fear of gaining the weight back. But sometimes, our body needs to gain some weight back and be given a break. Our minds also need a break from the constant calorie counting and memorizing nutrition facts. Thank you for opening up to us!
Steph @ StephSnacks recently posted..WIAW
I think GOd teaches in more than just spiritual ways, but physical. Yes, i know we can all relate to this. Being open and honest is how we heal and let GOD in. He is our confidence. Way to go ! Stay in tune and nourish that body mind and soul friend. You are an inspiration!
Good for you! I’m so glad that God has led you to this point of realization and that He has given you Will to help you stay strong! I just sent a prayer up for you:)
I’m so glad you published this post! I too I don’t have my period, and have been prescribed the whole progesterone thing without any results. Ive Maintained my weight for almost four years, so needless to say i feel in my confort zone, and my brain would say that im at my healthy weight, however it seems my womanly organs would disagree. I’m inspired by your courage, thank you!!!!
Sarah @ feeedingBrain and body recently posted..In Denial
I am so proud of how courageous you were to write this post; you are an absolutely beautiful person no matter what the numbers on the scale say. Treat your body right and live every day as if it were your last; don’t live by rules but instead listen to what your body is telling you. I have missed reading your blog while I was MIA, but now that I’ve had the opportunity to read this post I am so thankful that I found your blog in the first place because you truly are an inspiration!
Michelle @ Our Dream, Made Out of Real Things recently posted..Let’s Play Catch-Up, Shall We?
I went through a similar situation while in college. I began to severely limit my calories, causing my period to stop for about 6 months.
After restricting myself for so long, I started to binge eat and ended up gaining the weight back, plus some.
The year after graduating college it was a vicious cycle of depriving myself during the day, then bingeing at night.
Thankfully now, 2 years after grad. college I am now down to a great weight, exercise moderately & eat a healthy diet. It was a tough struggle though.
good luck to you!:)
I went through a similar situation while in college. I began to severely limit my calories, causing my period to stop for about 6 months.
After restricting myself for so long, I started to binge eat and ended up gaining the weight back, plus some.
The year after graduating college it was a vicious cycle of depriving myself during the day, then bingeing at night.
Thankfully now, 2 years after grad. college I am now down to a great weight, exercise moderately & eat a healthy diet. It was a tough struggle though.
good luck to you!:)
You’re not the only one who struggles! That’s why I love the blogging community…it’s SO SUPPORTIVE!!!!
Glad you noticed it and want to change it! YOU GO GIRL!!
Kelsey @ The Secret Life of Kelsey recently posted..Pushing Yourself
Great post, I loved reading it. I did not have my period for 4 years because I wanted to keep under 100 pounds (I’m 5’3″). I’m only just hovering around there now, but my body is functioning properly and I’ve had my cycle every month now for 5 months or so. It is nice to be able to relate and know there are other ‘normal’ girls out there who struggle with our perception of ‘perfection’. Good for you for sharing your story with the world and overcoming your own obstacles and struggles.
Inspiring for sure.
I just found your post from Tessa’s and love what you had to write. I honestly am going through the exact same thing as you in the moment. Although, I may be a little underweight still, it is hard to make improvements but with so much support out there and people who can relate it at least gives you people to communicate with. I’m so happy you can be honest with what has been happening!
what a courageous and truthful post. Thank you for staying true to yourself and your blog. Such an inspiring role model for others.
Wow Brittany. You are so strong. You are an amazing person inside and out! No one’s perfect — and believe me, I know exactly what you’re going through. And I know we can do it. We can come off conqueror and fuel ours bodies in a natural way — eating mostly healthful foods, but also making room for the treats.
I know you can do this. We can do this. 
Kathleen @ KatsHealthCorner recently posted..Juvenile Rheumatoid Arthritis + Fundraiser + Workout
I’m new to your blog–just wanted to say I appreciate your authenticity and vulnerability!! So brave of you! Male or female, we all need to stand up to our culture and the lies it feeds us about who we have to be to be loved and accepted. Thank you for taking a stand and being courageous enough to share your story! You have obviously made quite a positive impact in doing so! I’ll be a loyal reader of your blog! You go girl!
i have been reading yourvblog for a while now, but never commented. i seem to be in the same position as you when it comes to food and calories and having no period for a couple of years. I want to get healthy and be normal again, but it is scary. I know you say the media affects your body image, but for me, the main thingnaffecting mine is the sterotype that all asians are skinny. As you may have digured out, i am asian, and not to be racist, but i hear that so much from everyone around me. It seems to be true for everyone in my family except me! Do you have any ideas on how i could get over this? Thank you!
Hey Mindy,
Remember that EVERYONE is different, and if you aren’t getting your period than it means although you may like how you look on the outside, your insides do not like whats happening to them. It’s a work in progress, but I would just encourage you to try to think positively of your body, and catch yourself in negative thoughts. I know that it seems SO difficult to overcome, but try taking baby steps! For instance, if you work out a lot and eat too little, try tackling one of those at a time.
Also, I know it may sound scary to some, but counseling is always a great option! I truly wish you the best of luck, and I wish I had a simple answer for you. Hope this helps <3
Oh and here is a link that I was directed to that you might find useful: http://www.gwynetholwyn.com/blog/2011/9/14/do-i-need-2500-calories.html
Brittany recently posted..April Favorites & Operation Healthy Puppy
hi, i am new to your blog so have only just read this article – found you via ashleys myfoodnfitness blog and i am very happy i did!
as someone who has had a past of disordered eating, it can be so hard to tell yourself to eat more or dont exercise as much. you mentally begin to think you will get fat then start to compare your activities to others who do intense cardio and feel you must do the same. i often have days when negative thoughts enter my mind and it is still a struggle to try to listen to my body but i believe in hope that one day i will be free of these feelings and hope you are to. reading your blog and others who have gone through similar issues is really helping me and i want to thank you personally for addressing these issues in a world where so called skinny is the ‘norm’. its NOT! thanks again and hope you are well. tamxx
this is such a brave post. Thank you for writing it. It was really honest and touched on some of my own struggles with eating, both past and present.
This was such a wonderful post, Brittany. It had to be difficult to write, yet you wrote it with such grace and honesty. The fact that you can candidly admit that you haven’t been honest with yourself in the past tells me that you will be successful in finding your balance again.
I know you posted this entry some time ago, but I stumbled upon it this morning (which also happens to be NYE morning!). Thank you so much for writing this entry and posting it. I am in a similar situation in terms of the restricted eating to the point where I’ve developed some disordered eating habits and seriously abusing my body. And, like Mindy (one of your other commentors), I struggle with the stereotype that Asian girls are skinny. I have become so fixated on the number on the scale and KNOW that I am at a weight that is probably too low for me because I also have not had my period for months now. I have tried various birth control methods only to fall back to not having my periods once I’m off the hormones. I’ve even tried Chinese medicine! Thank you for posting links and bringing up HA. I’m going to read up on the topic and hopefully transition to being a healthier and happier version of myself. Have a safe, healthy, and happy new year!!
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